Friday, December 30, 2011

Pooch Problems Persist

Reprint from "Mesquite Citizen Journal", Oct. 10, 2011


I’m going to devote this column to that which comes out of our community’s dogs. No, I’m not going to write about barking. I’m writing about what comes out the other end.

I am a denizen of the Oasis golf courses and during a recent round I was approached by one of the finest beverage cart drivers this city, or any other, has ever known–a true Hall-of-Famer. I respect her expertise and when she came roaring up to our group in her wagon demanding, “I want you to write a column about poop!” How could I turn her down?

I generally don’t take requests, but I said, “Sure. This may be my only chance for a Pulitzer.”

First, I had to clarify if she were referring to my golf game, the town’s propensity for gossip, or something more literal.

“I’m sick of it! People don’t clean up after their dogs around here.”

Not wanting anything unseemly added to my next on-course Bloody Mary, I assured her I would try to comply with her wishes. What I found upon looking into the matter by looking for the matter turns out to be a near epidemic.

Like all good research, I limited my study to the Mesquite Vistas area around the Oasis golf courses, the Oasis Business Park, and Marilyn Redd Park, so my comments are specific to that section of town. I could only conclude that I am, by nature a “heads-up” sort of guy. Because, when I walked around with my head down the sheer volume, variety of sizes, and collection of shapes of the examples I found of the reported problem astounded me. I began to share our cart driving, EPA expert’s outrage.

I can, with some certainty report that many of our dog owning citizens adhere to safety regulations and walk on the sidewalks and paths provided by our town elders. I know this not because I witnessed the actual walking, I can report this because of the evidence emanating from exercising their hounds. I saw way too much of what pets’ behinds leave behind, left behind.

The sides of the cart paths on the golf courses, the edges of the walkways along the streets, and worst of all, sections of Marilyn Redd Park are all fouled with “steaming piles of (expletive)” as the Queen of Carts most daintily put the problem to me. Kids playing in the park should not have to decide whether or not they are picking up their errant Frisbee or a dried, flattened mound of waste. I’m sure Mrs. Redd would be aghast that her namesake park has become more of an obstacle course than a playground.

Our olfactory organs need not be assaulted during a daily exercise routine. And, I shouldn’t have to play policeman and issue a warning to adults that shirking one’s civic duty is illegal

There is, after all, City Ordinance 10-3-16, titled: “Animal Waste, Odor, and Noise”, requiring, among others, owners to pick up after their pets (excrement is the legal term used). This isn’t a matter for the city council at one of their recently opened to the public Technical Review Sessions. This is strictly a matter of conscience to be dealt with by our dog walking citizenry.

So, in the inimitable style of the late-great Theodore Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss:

Do not leave it in the park,
In the morning or after dark.

Do not walk eyes to the sky,
Pick up pooch’s little pie.

Do not think you are being kind,
When piles of poop you leave behind.

It’s the law–so clean the grass,
Of that which comes from Fido’s ….

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